Visiting a brothel can be a little intimidating for the first time patron. Every establishment has its house rules, etiquette and unspoken dos and don’ts that patrons must abide by. However, if you are new to all this, you may not know what to expect. So let’s have a look at what you need to know when visiting a brothel.
Before you go, it’s worth contacting the brothel or visiting their website. This should give you a general indication of the pricing and the services available. You don’t want to arrive and find that the services are beyond your budget.
Many websites will have a list of the girls working with some general information about them. However, most will only have generic pictures rather than actual pictures of the girls working. This is due to the legal guidelines restricting how sex workers can use photos to advertise their services. So be aware that in many cases, the people will likely differ from the photos on the website. Be prepared for this and don’t make a big deal about it.
Some brothels may require bookings for specific times or for particular workers. If you are after a particular person, it is worth contacting the brothel beforehand to inquire who’s working and find out if a booking is necessary. Most brothels will have a roster for who’s working and when and in some cases this will be available online.
Before going, it’s also important to seriously think about hygiene. Sure you’re paying for a service, but it’s going to be much more enjoyable for everyone involved if you take a little time to get properly cleaned up. Have a shower, wash your hair, clean your downtown area thoroughly (front and back!), clean your teeth, use mouthwash and put on clean clothes before heading to the brothel.
Remember to shave before you go. Prickly stubble can be incredibly irritating and if you’re cleanly shaved you’re more likely to get better service.
What to do on arrival
Good brothels will have off street parking and discreet side or back entrances. Most will have security doors monitored by cameras that you need to be buzzed through. If you’re not dressed appropriately or visibly intoxicated or disruptive you may not be buzzed in, so best behaviour!
You’ll be met at the front entrance by the venue manager or desk attendant. They will usually ask if you’ve been to the establishment before. If not, they will explain how the venue works, the pricing and some of the house rules.
The management and door staff will have dealt with a lot of punters over the years so they will know how to make you feel comfortable and welcome. At the same time, they won’t stand for any rude or disorderly behaviour, so if you want to make it past the front desk stay friendly and well behaved.
Meeting the ladies
Most venues have introduction rooms or a lounge where you can meet the women before making your choice. They will usually come in individually to introduce themselves. This is a good opportunity to briefly chat, try to build a rapport and see if there’s any chemistry between the two of you. While you’re paying for a service, the experience will always be better when there’s some degree of chemistry and comfort between the people involved.
It’s also important to remember that like any other service industry, the women have the right to refuse. If you’re rude to a bartender they don’t have to serve you and can ask you to leave. The same goes for sex workers, so remember your manners and treat them like human beings or you may go home unsatisfied.
Meeting the women is also the time to find out if they are willing to provide all the services you’re looking for. Not all sex workers will do everything, so the girl you choose may not cater to any special requests you have. It’s best to discuss this, and additional pricing, before making your choice. What’s defined as an extra or special request, and how much they cost, is entirely up to each individual sex worker.
It’s also important to remember that the prices are set. Don’t try to haggle. It’s demeaning for the women, a little pathetic for the punter and could get you kicked out if things go pear-shaped.
The STI inspection and shower
Once you’ve selected your preferred woman and agreed on services and price, you may be required to pay at the front desk before proceeding to the room (although in some establishments you pay in the room).
Once in the room you will be asked to drop your pants for an STI inspection. This isn’t particularly fun or sexy, but it’s important for the sex worker and for you. If she isn’t asking to inspect your downtown region before you get down to business, you should be concerned.
After the inspection you will be required to shower. This can come as a surprise to first-time punters, but it’s a requirement and refusing to comply will likely get you kicked out.
Remember that sex workers are always keeping their eye on the clock and in some cases the clock will start ticking the moment you step into the room, which means the longer you shower, the less time you’ll have for fun. In other cases, you’re booking won’t start until you finish your shower. Remember to check beforehand to ensure you’re not paying for a pricey shower.
Getting down to business
First things first: condoms are 100% essential every time. The sex workers will supply the condoms and you must wear them at all times. Refusing to wear one is a sure-fire way to get kicked out and “stealthing” or trying to slip it off during sex is actually considered rape and they will call the police.
Once the service has started, remember that you’re on a time limit. Once time is up, your booking ends whether you’re finished or not. You may be able to extend the session if the lady doesn’t have another booking (and she’s willing to), but that may involve discussing price again and making another payment before services continue. Read the list of great brothels in Melbourne and beyond.
However, you should always be respectful when they say the session is over.
It’s important to remember that, as with any service industry, the quality of the service you get greatly depends on the level of respect and etiquette you show to the sex worker. Remember that there are clear rules and you are expected to abide by these rules. Failure to do so will very quickly cut your night short.